Random Ramblings

"Never regret something that made you smile."  Okay, so what do we do with the other stuff that DIDN'T make us smile?  Yes, this must seem like it's coming out of nowhere, but like I said... "Random" ramblings.  I was just thinking back on my late-uncle, my mom's twin brother, and especially about the year before he died.  June 8 marked the 2-year anniversary of his death, so naturally my thoughts are of him.  He was a hell-raiser from birth, but I often wonder if the ghosts of his past didn't haunt him sometimes?  He was never the best dad, or the best uncle even....but he was always THERE.  That's the reason I've always seen him as my father figure, seeing as how my own wasn't there.  He was the cheapest mechanic I had, too.  Whenever I needed help on something, all it cost was a six-pack.  After that we would sit down and shoot the breeze and BS.  He, of course, would drink and we'd sit around watching my kids run around everywhere.  The twins were not even one so they were mainly in bouncers, and every now and then I would catch him just staring at them, as if contemplating on some past memory.  That's what made me wonder if he thought about the past.  If he was thinking back on all his past transgressions or not, or if he was simply thinking back on happier times.  Memories of my childhood are filled with him.  He had a blazer in the years of my youth, and he would always pack all of us in (his 4 kids, my 2 other cousins, and my brother and I) and just take us on a joy-ride.  This was all back before seat-belt laws were passed, so we would go crazy jumping around and back and forth!  Summers were always spent at the swimming pool and at the lake.  Ahhh, the lake!  Barbecues, baking in the sun, swimming, laughing, playing, drinking, eating........I would give my life to re-live even just one day back then.  My uncle was always the diving board for us, :).  We would climb on his shoulders and he would throw us in, or race the older ones to the buoy................................Did he remember those times, on those hot days when he visited me?  I hate to think of him living with regrets, but I know he had them.  I'm not a fool to think that someone is that perfect as to not make mistakes in life.  With as much as he suffered the last two weeks of his life, I'm grateful that he was finally able to go home and rest, even though it hurt so much to lose him.  I like to think that he's in the arms of my grandparents once again, alongside his sister.  And that now, his heart and soul are at peace.  My regret?  That I didn't tell him more often how much I loved him.  But I sure as hell hope he felt it.

IN LOVING MEMORY:

ALEJANDRO MEDINA

SEPT. 13, 1952-JUNE 8, 2008

IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER